Vampgeist Creative Media
Philadelphia, PA 19149
Dear Utterly Overheated Twilight Fan:
Yours is roughly the ten thousandth letter our office has received asking for details or contact information for the vampire of the moment, Edward Cullen from the Twilight series. We have been asked everything from what is his personal cell phone number to whether is he accepting wedding proposals and almost anything you can imagine in between.
Normally we work to promote communication between our visitors and our clients. But in this case, I hate to break it to you. It just isn’t going to work. Why?
1) Edward Cullen is not a client of Vampgeist. The leading cause of this would be
2) Edward Cullen is a fictitious character and does not actually exist outside page and screen.
We’re not kidding when we say that there are lots of people–mostly teenage girls–who would give anything to just breathe the same air as Edward Cullen. I’ve heard over and over again, “I want to marry Edward Cullen! I’m GOING to marry Edward Cullen!” Er, well, no, you’re not.
Ol’ Eddie-Puss isn’t the first fictitious vampire we’ve been asked to contact–Lestat, Sookie Stackhouse, Celine, any of the Lost Boys, and the Comte de Saint-Germain are a few others.
Well, we can’t put you in contact with vampires who just don’t exist in what we assume is the experience of the real world. However, if you’re determined to invite Edward Cullen to prom (or whatever), allow us to direct you to the site of Edward’s creatrix, Stephenie Meyer.
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